Frank Spork

I'm not sure why, but we've collected a number of black sporks recently. We get takeout soup in sourdough bread bowls from Boudin as often as Steve and Trevor will let me, which ends up being once every two months or so. I could eat it every meal of every day. Anyway, I think that might be the source of the sporks. I've been tucking them in the back of the silverware drawer. I probably should put them directly into the craft room, because when I got a spoon out for cereal this morning, my brain saw the spork and immediately envisioned this: 

Well, not immediately. Apparently my brain thought Frankenstein is quite thin and dapper, as my first draft looked like this:

I wasn't sure if Frank was supposed to have green hands or not, so I avoided the problem by putting his hands behind his back. That, along with the wide 1970's lapel, just isn't quite right. But it makes me laugh.

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Here's how to make the more monster-like, non-dapper version of Frank Spork.

Materials: black spork, tape, gesso, green paint, googly eyes, black Sharpie, scissors, black cardstock, grey cardstock, green cardstock, craft glue, glue dots

1. Tape off the tines of the spork so that they remain black. Put a thin coat of gesso onto the face area of the spork. I used my finger and it was dry by the time I'd washed my hands. Paint the face green.

2. While the face is drying, make the clothes. Cut the grey cardstock into a rectangle for the shirt and into two tiny bolts. Then cut a long rectangle, double the length of the spork handle. Cut a deep V for the jacket, then fold the paper in half. 

3. Cut pants and lapels from black cardstock. The ones pictured below are from my original Dapper Frank. For the improved version, I just layered a wider suit jacket (with smaller lapels) on top of the existing one.

4. Cut hands (green) and feet (black). Glue everything in place using craft glue. Add a few glue dots along the surface of the spork handle to help hold it in place while it dries. 

5. Draw a mouth with Sharpie. 

Now you have your own Frank Spork! And now I'm craving soup in a sourdough bread bowl again...